Pumpkin Curry with Channa Dal

In truth I didn't make a complicated beef wellington after slicing my thumb, I actually made a fairly simple pumpkin and lentil curry, but that's not really that impressive is it? My last post was just full of lies, damned lies. I'm not really hard and thumbs are in fact quite useful, especially when playing Xbox or Playstation games. You only have to look at our animal friends to see the proof. In general, cats are rubbish at Sega Rally whereas Bornean Orangutans are pretty good. They have four thumbs, you see. Cats tend to get their own back at MC Groovz Dance Groovz, as they can breakdance and backflip and always end up with four feet back on the dance mat. No handheld joypad is required.

So as I was saying, editors have power and can manipulate your mind.

I'm not really much of a pumpkin fan. Never really experimented with them that much, either in the warding off of evil spirits or the warding off of hunger. Incidentally, if you are buying a pumpkin to ward off evil spirits, make sure it's organic. The extra nutritional goodness makes it particularly effective at scaring away the most vicious of spirits. Unfortunately it won't work on those boys from the local estate who are intent on egging and toilet papering your house. For them I recommend filling the pumpkin with petrol and using an onager to catapult it from a first floor bedroom window onto their hoodied little heads.

I do love a pumpkin risotto, with the flesh roasted, pureed and stirred through the rice at the end of cooking, but beyond that my repertoire is small. Pumpkin pie doesn't really fill me with much excitement so I thought I'd try a vegetarian curry with split yellow peas or Channa Dal. It was ok. As a meat lover, it wasn't really my kind of curry, but it was fantastically economical, and provided about 6 portions for £2.00 which can't be sniffed at when the purse strings are tight.

Beef Rendang

You know those dishes that are placed reverently in front of you in really great restaurants, the ones delicately constructed using a broad palette of harmonious colours, silky sauce lapping on juicy meat, and a fey garnish that crowns the tower like a Philip Treacy creation on Ladies Day at Ascot? Well Beef Rendang is not one of them.

When Beef Rendang was first created, it was well and truly beaten with the ugly stick. If it were a politician it would be Ann Widdecombe. If it were a sportsman it would be Wayne Rooney. A Z-lister? Step forward, Jade.

To be fair though, it does look slightly better than Andrew Lloyd Webber.

However, just like most of these ugly celebrities, Beef Rendang has hidden talents. Rooney is a very gifted footballer, Lloyd Webber can solve problems like Maria, and Ann Widdecombe..., well anyway, the unattractive sight of a bowl of Rendang says nothing about the wonder of its flavour.

Beef Rendang is slowly cooked over a number of hours which allows the spices and aromatics to really penetrate the meat. The coconut milk is reduced to a mere coating and thickened at the end with toasted coconut flesh, mashed to a pulp with a pestle and mortar. The citric tang of lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves and ginger comes through subtly in the end product. In authentic Rendang turmeric leaves are used, however I had to use powder instead. Apparently every Malay family has its own recipe for Rendang, just like every Italian family has its own recipe for tomato sauce.

And check out the picure. It's amazing what you can do with a few slices of julienned chilli. Hardly the make-up of make-up artists but it certainly makes a pile of brown slop look ready for a night out. Ann Widdecombe take note: make clever use of red chillies and eternal spinsterhood might not be such a certainty after all.