Chelsea Buns

On the menu today were Chelsea Buns which rather disappointingly wasn't an exercise in using a turning knife to recreate young Miss Clinton's buttcheeks out of a nectarine. I'm not sure why Chelsea Buns are so called but I can't think that the name comes from that particular part of London. Just look at them. They're so unassuming, so down-to-earth, a little bit mumsy even. You can't imagine one in the passenger seat of an open top Ferrari cruising down the Kings Road, stereo blaring, sunglasses on, shouting "check me out, I'm a Chelsea bun!" It would be Like Delia Smith in head-to-toe Versace. It just wouldn't pull it off.

"You're not a Chelsea bun", onlookers would shout back, "you're a Wimbledon bun. Go back to your family home and darn some socks!" Maybe that or something in Arabic. Or Russian. Or Italian. Ciao!

I'm sure the likes of Jemima Khan and Tara Palmer Tompkinson would turn their noses up at a doughy Chelsea Bun and head straight for a dainty bit of patisserie. I can't really see Roman Abramovich tucking into a plateful in the Directors' Box at Stamford Bridge either. So why oh why are they called Chelsea Buns? I think it must be because technically, Chelsea Buns are made with an enriched dough, and Kensington and Chelsea is the most enriched borough of London. However unlike the denizens of Old Church Street and Cheyne Walk, Chelsea Buns are not enriched by diamonds, daddy's money, or shady oil deals, but larger quantities of sugar and butter which means that although they may not look that flash, they do have very good taste.

Unlike some people you might see in SW3.